I realize, one thing for sure, you will hurt me, trying your best to hurt me, came up with bizzare speculation of what has happened over the weekend, while actually... You are the one who has spend a splendid moment with her.. When u came back, i dont even want to know, dont even said anything bout what have u done there, but you.. You are the one who keep on bugging me with the tots u had in your head.. I know you need to express what you feel inside.. I know and i do understand, but have you ever think about me? What i feel? What i think? And my tots? Do you bother to hear me? To understand? I dont want to create trouble.. Certain things i cant tell you verbally.. Whatever it is.. Im sorry if i ever hurt you.. And im glad for few reasons that it is only for me to know..
Love, laugh, tears..
Monday, April 26, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
behind all the smile, laugh, i still feel empty. missing something in life. i dont know what, should i try to search for it, and if i succeed, will it makes me happy again. this emptiness , feeling alone even everyone is around you.. its pathetic.
i guess when people took advantages of you, taken you for granted, be with you just to get something, and when they're done.... you are out of the list ... this is so fucking frustrated right? .. disappointment ... they disconnect you from their life .... you thought their so sincere being your friends, is there a silver lining for all these....
i wanted to cherish every person , every single soul, but im scared.. they will hurt me soo bad, again and again and again....
but still... i ended trusted you my friends...
mummy didnt taught me to be cruel , you can say anything to me again and again.. but i will remain the same .. i wish i can be cruel ....
i guess when people took advantages of you, taken you for granted, be with you just to get something, and when they're done.... you are out of the list ... this is so fucking frustrated right? .. disappointment ... they disconnect you from their life .... you thought their so sincere being your friends, is there a silver lining for all these....
i wanted to cherish every person , every single soul, but im scared.. they will hurt me soo bad, again and again and again....
but still... i ended trusted you my friends...
mummy didnt taught me to be cruel , you can say anything to me again and again.. but i will remain the same .. i wish i can be cruel ....
Monday, April 5, 2010
pening tak tau apa point sebenarnya.. random jer
banyak benda dalam hidup yang mengecewakan
kadang2 tak tahu nak mula dari yang mana
kadang2 penat fikir
bila satu tahap, kita ingat kita dah rasa kebahagian, tapi sebenarnya.... malapetaka yang melanda.
kenapa susah sangat? mungkin asal niatnya salah, tapi benda ni bukan benda jahat,
perasaan bukan datang dipaksa2.. benda tuu sendiri hadir... tak perlu suruh, automatik, jadilah ...
mungkin dulu boleh elak, sekarang bila dah terlambat... kita cuma nak rasa bahagia jer...
berkongsi memang kita tau ..
bukan perkara mudah , sedang dalam duduk tempat yang tidak sepatutnya kita kongsi , kita masih rela kongsi .. bukan senang ..
selalu kene tuduh macam2 .. sebab berkongsi ..
cuba rasa hidup orang yang berkongsi tu, baru tau macam mana...
pentingkan diri , itu satu sifat terpuji agaknya sekarang ni .. sebab selalu kita dengar , kalau nak bahagia, kalau taknak orang sakitkan hati kita, kita kena jual ikan, tapi macam mana dengan orang yang selalu mengalah asyik beli jer ikan tuu ? ada tak orng yang jual ikan tuu terfikir nak beli balik ikan dia jual ? ada ke?
tengah2 malam bila tak dapat tido, jadila benda2 macam ni , pastu esok kalau gie kjer nampak semacam jer tuduh laa macam2... cakap kerja keras malam tadi la, aper la.. haishhh ... tak penat ke fikir benda2 macam tu ? kang nanti terbaca apa kiter tulis sini , mula la melenting, cakap macam2, tuduh macam2 lagi , adui ... kiter nak luah perasaan jer, kalau awak nak luah , luahla..tapi janganla cakap kita macam2... awak bila bercakap kejam... macam2 tau awak tuduh kiter.. kiter taulaa kiter tak baik sangat .. semua manusia pun buat silap, awak pun, sama jer, untung awak tak kantoi lagi jer dengan kiter.. kalau kantoi sama jer jugak nanti ... kiter taknak cakap dekat awak apa pun, kiter post sini .. secara kasar .. kiter post ni untuk sape2 jerlaa yang kite rasa pernah buat kiter terasa mana2 ... kiter maafkan awak ...
kadang2 tak tahu nak mula dari yang mana
kadang2 penat fikir
bila satu tahap, kita ingat kita dah rasa kebahagian, tapi sebenarnya.... malapetaka yang melanda.
kenapa susah sangat? mungkin asal niatnya salah, tapi benda ni bukan benda jahat,
perasaan bukan datang dipaksa2.. benda tuu sendiri hadir... tak perlu suruh, automatik, jadilah ...
mungkin dulu boleh elak, sekarang bila dah terlambat... kita cuma nak rasa bahagia jer...
berkongsi memang kita tau ..
bukan perkara mudah , sedang dalam duduk tempat yang tidak sepatutnya kita kongsi , kita masih rela kongsi .. bukan senang ..
selalu kene tuduh macam2 .. sebab berkongsi ..
cuba rasa hidup orang yang berkongsi tu, baru tau macam mana...
pentingkan diri , itu satu sifat terpuji agaknya sekarang ni .. sebab selalu kita dengar , kalau nak bahagia, kalau taknak orang sakitkan hati kita, kita kena jual ikan, tapi macam mana dengan orang yang selalu mengalah asyik beli jer ikan tuu ? ada tak orng yang jual ikan tuu terfikir nak beli balik ikan dia jual ? ada ke?
tengah2 malam bila tak dapat tido, jadila benda2 macam ni , pastu esok kalau gie kjer nampak semacam jer tuduh laa macam2... cakap kerja keras malam tadi la, aper la.. haishhh ... tak penat ke fikir benda2 macam tu ? kang nanti terbaca apa kiter tulis sini , mula la melenting, cakap macam2, tuduh macam2 lagi , adui ... kiter nak luah perasaan jer, kalau awak nak luah , luahla..tapi janganla cakap kita macam2... awak bila bercakap kejam... macam2 tau awak tuduh kiter.. kiter taulaa kiter tak baik sangat .. semua manusia pun buat silap, awak pun, sama jer, untung awak tak kantoi lagi jer dengan kiter.. kalau kantoi sama jer jugak nanti ... kiter taknak cakap dekat awak apa pun, kiter post sini .. secara kasar .. kiter post ni untuk sape2 jerlaa yang kite rasa pernah buat kiter terasa mana2 ... kiter maafkan awak ...
disaster at 3am
frustration struck me at 3.am in the morning. i was surfing the net, layan myTV3 .. terpengaruh dgn ly4 and jill .. hohohohoh.. and all of sudden tersurf something and fucking shit!! i hate to see it!!
i remember all the time when __ acting like i did so many mistakes, but actually behind my back, __ did the same what i did .. so fuck off !!!!!!!!!
janganla act baik giller depan aku padahal ko pun sama jer dowh!
cakap aku mcm2 kot!! tapi pusing kalu, apa aku buat, ko buat jugak !! aperhall???
bengang ass....
ntahlaaa... tak tau macam mana nak cakap ....
yes, aku taknak amek tau, aku taknak amik peduli , tapi damn!!! aku manusia biasa, sifat ingin tahu, ambil tahu tuu memang ada ahhh ..... sebab.... kau ada dalam hidup aku .....aku tak sempurna mana, well kau pun!!!!!
this is just to divert the feeling... :)
i remember all the time when __ acting like i did so many mistakes, but actually behind my back, __ did the same what i did .. so fuck off !!!!!!!!!
janganla act baik giller depan aku padahal ko pun sama jer dowh!
cakap aku mcm2 kot!! tapi pusing kalu, apa aku buat, ko buat jugak !! aperhall???
bengang ass....
ntahlaaa... tak tau macam mana nak cakap ....
yes, aku taknak amek tau, aku taknak amik peduli , tapi damn!!! aku manusia biasa, sifat ingin tahu, ambil tahu tuu memang ada ahhh ..... sebab.... kau ada dalam hidup aku .....aku tak sempurna mana, well kau pun!!!!!
this is just to divert the feeling... :)
"In your brown eyes I was feeling low
'Cause they're brown eyes and you never know
Got some brown eyes but I saw her face
I knew that it was wrong"
"Something I saw, something I know did not belong to me
But then I thought theres no way you would do that to me
Then last week, when you went aside to use your phone
I felt a chill but told myself that it was from the cold
And I just woke up, but I wish that it was a nightmare
Cos when I have those, it isnt real like this one is"
ps: i wont hate you.
'Cause they're brown eyes and you never know
Got some brown eyes but I saw her face
I knew that it was wrong"
"Something I saw, something I know did not belong to me
But then I thought theres no way you would do that to me
Then last week, when you went aside to use your phone
I felt a chill but told myself that it was from the cold
And I just woke up, but I wish that it was a nightmare
Cos when I have those, it isnt real like this one is"
ps: i wont hate you.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Remember me
Heavy! But i like.. Need to watch movie that makes me think, well.. Remember me.. Family, loves, brotherhood, siblings, divorce. And everything in between, but sadly the hero died. Herm.. I dont like that part.. I guess not all movie the hero will survive , isnt it?
These few days, riot!! Life's sooo upside down, tunggang terbalik habiss! Ive cried a few days ago, if you re not ready for comitment dont tell me you love me, all of sudden, i feels like i dont know him anymore.. The changes, is unACCEPTABLE for a 8 years relationship. he said things ive never imagine will came out from his mouth. It hurt so bad! I wish i could dissapear! Damn, where's my heart?
Warewolf , when he acting cold, he actually very warm inside. I need to be extra patience with him. he's a good warewolf, the one you want to love for the rest of your life..
Ps: erase my mind
These few days, riot!! Life's sooo upside down, tunggang terbalik habiss! Ive cried a few days ago, if you re not ready for comitment dont tell me you love me, all of sudden, i feels like i dont know him anymore.. The changes, is unACCEPTABLE for a 8 years relationship. he said things ive never imagine will came out from his mouth. It hurt so bad! I wish i could dissapear! Damn, where's my heart?
Warewolf , when he acting cold, he actually very warm inside. I need to be extra patience with him. he's a good warewolf, the one you want to love for the rest of your life..
Ps: erase my mind
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