you are not stupid

i didnt make up stories and you are not stupid...
i didnt lie to you... and you are not stupid...
the plan has changed and you are not stupid...
you always tink you are right and you are not stupid ...
im sick and tired of this again and again and again and you are not stupid..
i dont care what you do with her and im not stupid ...
i dont ask question what are you doing with her and im not stupid ..
i dont fucking care ...
if i hurt you im sorry ...
may all the blame be on me ...
your happiness is what is all about,...
just want you to be happy...
dats it ...
dats it ...
i FUCKING DID NOT LIE TO YOU ...

my little secret

i forgive you
but i will never forget
i will always treat you right
but u made a wound in my heart
it wont heal
as long as i love you
as long as i live

i dont know either its a good thing or not.
never been treat that way. something wrong somewhere...
how can a person who is always be good to you, suddenly, punch you on your face. right and straight. that person, that you love so much, that you always be good to him, never let he feels down, you never burden him with worries when he has sooooooo much to think about. act so differently... like you dont know him anymore....
i remember when my friends did a big and huge mistakes... ive been sooo good, support her, cried with her.... dont talk bad to her, i dont let her spirit down... i lift it up..... try my best to cheer her, make her smile. be with her and makes her happy. but ...... IT AINT THE SAME WITH ME..!!

**************************************************************************************

apa korang rasa bila benda korang tak buat, tapi dituduh buat? sakit hati tak? aku dah penat ass meyakinkan, aku takder kudrat nak cakap aper lagi. semua benda nak ikut apa dia fikir. ingat aper? selama dia buat silap kat aku, aku tak pernah fikir benda yang sama setiap kali dia buat something yang menyakitkan hati. ya tuhan kenapa aku baik sangat? tak boleh ke keras hati macam dia? tak boleh ke? kenapa aku tak boleh nak pentingkan diri sendiri? kenapa tak for once aku fikir, suke hatilahhhh kau nak fikir ape? kenapa aku x mcm tuuuu? kenapa aku peduli sangat nak explain, sedangkan orang taknak dengar pun, sebab pada dia, dia sorang jer betul. bila dia buat salah, kau tatang dia macam minyak yang penuh. kau spoiled dia, tapi bila kau.... dia ungkit sampai mati kannnn?

loosing grip

"When I Look At You"

Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the nights are long

'cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy

when my world is falling apart
When there's no light
To break up the dark
That's when I
I look at you

When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home any more
That's when I
I look at you

When I look at you
I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I know I'm not alone

Yeah when my world is falling apart
When there's no light
To break up the dark
That's when I
I look at you

When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home any more
That's when I
I look at you

You appear just like a dream to me
Just like kaleidoscope colors that cover me
All I need
Every breath that I breathe
Don't you know you're beautiful
When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home any more
That's when I
I look at you

I look at you
You appear just like dream to me

Aku ingin kepastian bukan kata kosong

its gonna be a long journey. i fall sick again. my nose is soooo stuffy ryte now. arghhh~~ tension jer.
but for you my friend , akan ku gagahkan diri ke hari persandinganmu.
nanti karoke nak nyanyi lagu TENDA BIRU ... heheheh
ada terfikir nak bawak adik jalan2 bulan nie, tpi hemmm kewangan tak mengizinkan sebab banyak sangat daa guna duit bulan nie. kenduri kahwin, road tax renew... perghhhhh~~ cucukp2 makan2 jer... bolehlaa belanja adik2 roti canai... hihihihih
aku doakan yang terbaik untuk AZILA MOHAMAD... moga segalanya berjalan lancar, dan hidup bahagia hingga ke anak cucu. alhamdullillah .... syukur nikmat ALLAH. ...


ps: things has been sorted out.

8 years

Ive been asking the question over n over again.. Ur answer will be the same .

You said ' im not ready . Its not about the money, im just not ready '

It hurts me mr. It did .. its been 8years, how can u still not ready? Im not ready either.. But i want to face it together.. But you dont want it yet.. With me..

As a girl, i proposed to you ... Its sad, it is sooo sad... And everytime u said u r not ready it was like a rejection to me...
Babe, you will never understand what i feels..

And now, june 7 , i decided to stop thinking of you not being ready... I wanted peace.. I want to back off from our relationship... And suddenly you change your mind...

Me : y all of sudden you said you can? While selama ni you x ready, after i decide nak back off .. Terus u boleh pulak.

You: because i have no options. Because you nak sangat

Me: u want to marry me cause of you dont have options? babe.. You hurt me. Y r u doing this to me?

All of sudden you ve change your mind...
And when i said i cant let it happened cause of you have no options.. You accused me of finding a reason to leave you...
You break my heart.. Seriously bREAKINg it.. And you dont realize that..
You put the blame on me..

Bard, perkahwinan bukan sesuatu yang kita bina atas paksaan, ia takkan pernah terjadi dengan indahnya kalau itu yang kau fikir. Aku takkan biar kau hancur, mengiyakan semua ini untuk kepentinganku.. Kerana suatu hari nanti, andai ada badai melanda.. Akulah insan yang paling menyesal kerana membenarkannya berlaku. Kerana aku mau! Ia harus dibina atas cinta, ikhlas dari hatimu ingin aku jadi bidadari dalan duniamu, bukan atas keterpaksaan begini rupa, ia bagai penghinaan sebenarnya!!!!